High Holidays 5775 (The Remix)

I didn't feel much of the holiday spirit this year. If I were to repent of anything, I would have said I need to say "No" more often. What I want to do is write more; what I'm doing is chanting Torah on Yom Kippur, working on a history project for Tree of Life, serving on a commission for "LGBT Equity" at West Virginia University, and keeping house. Not that all these things aren't worthwhile, or that keeping house wasn't to be expected when I got married.

Being Jewish in Morgantown does not entirely give me what I need. I'm starting to fight back against the "War on Christmas" mentality that dominates this area. I wished all my Christian acquaintances "Shana Tova" in the way they all wish me "Merry Christmas" because "Happy Holidays" doesn't work for them. The more curious asked me what it meant and when were the holidays, the less curious just looked at me. One of the slogans in Morgantown is "Building A Diverse Community." And yet, WVU's homecoming parade was Friday night on Yom Kippur, and the big football game was late afternoon Saturday. Morgantown High had its homecoming parade the evening of Rosh Hashana, and apparently would not excuse absences for the next day. I'm feeling that "Diversity" does not include Jews. Last week was "Diversity Week" at the University, and they did advertise Israeli dancing, but that's as Jewish as it got.

The High Holy Day cantor at Tree of Life flies  in from Mexico every year. This year he called around September 1 to say he was ill and couldn't come. In the scramble to find someone else, Joe and I came up with a mutual friend, Rabbi Yossi Carron, who worked as a cantor at one time, then became a rabbi. He has worked as a chaplain in the prisons, and Joe interned with him one summer. This gave Joe the confidence to pursue a job in the prisons.

The way it worked out with the congregation, Joe and I had to drive him eighty miles to and from the airport in Pittsburgh twice, and put him up at our house. Someone offered to find him somewhere else to stay, but he told this person he wanted to stay with his friends. This was hard for us, because I needed time to work on my Torah chanting, and Rabbi Joe had sermons to write, and three funerals in the days after Rosh Hashana. It was stressful for us to have someone in our two bedroom house.

Services turned out well. The congregants loved Yossi. He kissed and hugged all the older women, flirted with the young men (who didn't seem to mind), schmaltzed up all the singing, which people considered "spiritual." The sticklers didn't like that he forgot or mispronounced much of the Hebrew. The complainer I heard from asked me why I didn’t take over for the holidays. I told him “ I don’t have the strength to do a full holiday schedule. And I would never do holidays with just three weeks to prepare.”  I hope he realized we were blessed that Yossi had the chutzpah to walk in at the last minute and do a full holiday schedule.

 I laughed when Yossi sang "The Way We Were" during the Yizkor Memorial service on Yom Kippur afternoon. But by the end of the song, I felt nostalgic for the past, and sorry for the passage of time strongly enough to tear up. Of course, it was late afternoon, and though I didn't fast, I hadn't had a lot to eat and I was tired. Ultimately, the Yom Kippur magic worked for me, even though I was determined not to feel it. At the end, I knew I would be a better person in 5775.

Yossi  charmed us too. One of my complaints about Morgantown is that we don't have older gay men for friends here. Yossi and Joe sat around at dinner and breakfast challenging each other with the lyrics of obscure Sondheim musicals. It was the only time during the holidays that Joe really relaxed and had fun.

In addition to loving Joe, I admire him as a rabbi. He was always a skilled speaker. At the evening service on Yom Kippur, he spoke about Israel, from the heart. He took what would be considered a leftist view in most synagogues, calling for an Arab state in the West Bank and Gaza, whatever it takes, and despite the obvious risks. People praised his speech to me, but said they feared others would be critical. I'm not sure anyone was. I have rarely been more proud of my Joe.

We've finished the holidays, and today, October 9, is the first day of Sukkot, the harvest holiday where we eat lots and hang out with friends in the autumn air. Despite the stress, we enjoyed having Yossi with us. Joe still has work for Sukkot and Simchat Torah. I try to take this time to enjoy autumn and relax.